Mother's Day

Since I started blogging again last fall, I have come across many, many blogs about women who are infertile -- women who long to be mothers; women who have tried time and time again to become pregnant. I've read about people who have gone through numerous IVF procedures and are still without children. I've read about women who have adopted children, fostered childen, and been successful with IVF. I've read about women who -- after waiting so long for a child -- have spent weeks, even months, in the NICU with their new babies.

I don't understand why it's so hard for some women to conceive, and not hard at all for other women. I don't understand why there are teenagers and drug addicts having children, or why some women are aborting their babies, or why some people seem to get pregnant by using the same bar of soap -- when there are so many parents struggling to have a family of their own.

I almost feel guilty that I am pregnant -- without even trying -- when there are so many women whose blogs I read (some here in my own town) who are paying thousands upon thousands of dollars for infertility treatments so they can have a child of their own.

Today in church, our preacher had all the mothers in the congregation stand so that we could applaud them. I couldn't help thinking about the women who yearn so much to be a mother -- how tough it must be to sit in the pew, year after year, hoping that next year they will be able to stand, and call themselves a Mom.

I have not struggled with infertility myself, so I cannot even begin to imagine waiting and trying for years to get pregnant. The closest I can relate to this is the time between September and December, after I miscarried and before I realized I was pregnant again, when I was at such a low point in my life. Each day was a battle. I felt so empty, so hollow, so incomplete. It seemed like there was nothing I could do, nothing Stephen could do, to take the pain away. I want all the women out there struggling with infertility to know that I pray for you and hope that God will soon bless you with a baby of your own.

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there -- from grandmothers to mothers-to-be, to future mothers.