keepin' it real.

my time at home with christopher is oh-so-quickly coming to a close.  it's been the best way i could ever dream of spending these last 5 months.  his first 5 months.

truthfully - i've had my ups and downs.  it hasn't been easy, and i know it's not going to get any easier when i go back to work.  juggling a baby and a house and a husband (haha) has been crazy busy, but i feel like i've really learned alot (like when to clean and when to facebook.) and i'm going to be a better, more-balanced person when i go back to work this time.

there have been times when i've "needed" christopher to take a nap, or lay on his blanket and play with his toys or entertain himself, and he just hasn't wanted to do it.  he's cried (yes, the perfect child - crying, arching his back, screaming. who knew?!?) and thrown a fit and just refused to do what i "needed" him to do so that i could clean or blog or facebook.  and i've found myself getting irritated with him for just a split second, then looking at his sweet, precious face and thinking - this is what i wanted. i wanted to stay home from work to spend time with my son. not to have dusted furniture, a vacuumed floor, or every piece of laundry clean, folded, and put away.  and just like that - my anger would melt away and i would pick christopher up, give him a hug and  kiss, love on him, play with him, and spend quality time with him.  because eventually, he's going to take that nap, and i'll get my chance to get on the computer, clean house, or take my shower.  and one day, i was going to have to go back to work - and i wouldn't be there during the day, to hold him and feed him and play with him and watch him learn new things.  so i've treasured every.single.minute. i've been able to spend with him and i know that he has too.  (i can tell by the way he smiles when he sees me. ha!)