I was so glad when Heather posted this blog last week. It was perfect timing for me, because I had/have been struggling with fear, especially with Christopher. It started recently - mainly when the Albert Pike Campground was flooded. I read somewhere that toddlers were ripped from their parents arms. Just thinking about it makes me almost hyperventilate. My parents had been thinking about getting a camper but had decided against; had they gone through with buying one, they could have been at Albert Pike when the flooding occurred. They may have even taken Christopher with them.
Then, just a week or so later, we lost a family friend after a five-year-long battle with breast cancer. She has a daughter in middle school and a son in the second grade. I didn’t cry when I hugged her husband, or her daughter, or when I viewed her body. I cried when I saw her son, curled up in his grandfather’s lap, then later when he ran to his dad and hugged him around the legs. I got so scared -- I wanted to do nothing more than drive straight home (2.5 hours away) and scoop up Christopher and cover him in a thousand hugs and kisses and never let him go.
I get scared when I think about what happened to precious Noah. I couldn’t even read Megan’s blog when I found out that her unborn son had a congenital heart defect. I read a few posts about her pregnancy, and loosely kept up with her blog after sweet Cohen was born -- and was so, so saddened when I read about his death at just 12 days old.
I know that I can’t sit around and worry all the time. I can’t play the “what if” game for the rest of my life. Like I said - Heather’s post came at the perfect time for me, and I was so thankful when she posted it. =)
In other news…..
**Today was my LAST DAY at Walmart! I start summer classes at Henderson in Arkadelphia one week from today. I’m excited about moving on to the next phase in life. I had planned on going back to get my Bachelor’s in General Studies and graduating in December… but after talking with my advisor, then my husband, we have decided that it would be best for me to pursue my Education degree. (Those can, do, those who can’t, teach -- right?)
I spent one semester as an Early Childhood Education major. I’d rather not dwell on that subject. Let’s just say that (1) my GPA did not like that semester, and (2) I think I would pull my hair out if I taught elementary ed. SOOOO, after some prayer and a few conversations with Stephen, I have decided to get my Business Technology Education degree. I am super, super excited about this. If you aren’t excited for me, keep your feelings and opinions to yourself and please don’t burst my bubble. Got it? Good.
The downside to this is that I will not be graduating in December. The upside is that I will be able to teach when I am done with college and not have problems finding a job or needing extra education hours. But I know that I will be so happy that I did it and our little family will be much better off after I have my degree. I am really looking forward to being a teacher!
**Speaking of our little family -- looks like we will be staying a family of three for quite some time. My new best friend, ParaGard, is going to help keep Christopher an only child for the next few years. You know, just until Stephen and I both have our degrees, better jobs, and a house with more than two bedrooms. I have mixed feelings about having more children -- I have always wanted a big family (three or four kids) but I had such problems with my pregnancy and delivery, it’s scary for me to think about going through all of that again. I do want Christopher to have at least one little sibling though, just not until Stephen and I are at a better spot in our lives.
**Christopher got a package in the mail yesterday! He was already in bed when I checked the mail at 7 pm, so I figured he wouldn’t mind if I opened it for him. Inside was the cutest little Carter’s outfit and a new pair of swimming trunks from his Uncle Jim and Aunt Cristin. He wore the Carter’s outfit today, but I was already at work when he got up and Stephen dressed him in it, and I forgot to snap a pic this afternoon after I got off work, so I don’t have a pic of him wearing it, but I did take one yesterday after I opened the package. It says “Property of Mommy” and I just love it! Aunt Cristin also sent a sweet card to Christopher. They live in Joshua, Texas, so we don’t get to see them as often as we would like to, but hopefully that won’t always be the case. =) (Again - back to the “Stephen-and-I-need-to-be-in-a-better-spot” to do all the wonderful things we want to do.)
I already have a special three-picture Wordless Wednesday scheduled to post tomorrow. Would anyone like to venture a guess as to what it might be about???