sad times

The last few weeks have been sad ones, and I have just not had it in me to sit down and blog. I really do want to. But I don’t.

The last week of June, my mother-in-law was staying with us because her 90-something year old grandmother was very sick and in the hospital. On Sunday, July 1, Grandmother passed away. She lived a very full life and we all knew that she was ready to go.

We went to her memorial service the following Saturday, which was held in Owasso, Oklahoma. We went up on Friday and spent the night. Stephen’s grandfather (different side of the family than his great-grandmother who had passed) also lives in Owasso, and he had been having a hard time getting over a surgery from a few months back. He wasn’t eating enough and his energy level was just low. His wife died last May, so I thought he needed some home-made meals. On Thursday, the day before we left for the memorial, I spent the day in the kitchen making meals for Grandpa. I wanted to make several different dishes that could be easily frozen and then taken out to thaw and cook. Grandpa had lost a lot of weight and I thought maybe he needed some yummy homemade comfort food.  I also express myself with food. I enjoy making things for others in order to comfort them. 

I spent the entire Thursday making regular chili, white chicken chili, chicken lasagna, poppy seed/ritz chicken casserole, hash brown casserole, and Paula Deen cinnamon rolls.  I think I ended up with 13 dishes – not including 5 cinnamon rolls, which we delivered to Grandpa on Friday when we rolled into town. He had already had company earlier in the day, and he tired SO easily, so he was exhausted when we got there. We were only there a few minutes – just long enough to give him hugs and talk to him a few minutes before putting away the meals I had made him and leaving to go to our hotel so that we could meet up with Stephen’s family.  I didn’t even take a picture of Grandpa with Christopher, but we planned on going back the next day, Saturday, after Grandmother’s memorial.

On Saturday, we stayed at the memorial longer than I had planned and when we decided to leave, Stephen’s mom told us that she was planning on visiting Grandpa (her dad) before she left town. So we decided to let him save his energy for Deanna. We just told her to make sure he had eaten and tell him that we loved him.

Long story short, Grandpa passed away of a heart attack on the evening of Monday, July ninth.  So we made our way back to Owasso for the second time in less than a week for his services. Grandpa’s funeral was Friday the thirteenth, one week to the day after I delivered my ice chest full of meals for him. I think all that he ate of it was a bowl of white chicken chili. Even though my mother-in-law had been telling us that his health was deteriorating, Stephen and I were not prepared for his death and we both took it really hard. I am still having a hard time with it.  I had told Stephen on Sunday, the day before he died, that I wanted to invite Grandpa to live with us so that we could take care of him. Stephen was shocked that I suggested it – but I told him, “He’s my grandpa too!”  And I really did consider him like a grandpa to me.

So, like I said – I am having a hard time. I will try to blog more once I am feeling better. Even this story has more that I need to add to it, but I just don’t have it in me.