nerves and tears.

I've been a basket case of nerves recently -- maybe hormones?  Not sure, but whatever my problem is, I'm ready for it to go away!

Saturday night, Stephen and I watched "Changeling" with Angelina Jolie.  I had been told  awhile back that this was a "good movie."   .........DOES THE PERSON WHO TOLD ME THIS NOT KNOW ME AT ALL?!?!?!?!?  I canNOT watch movies like that.  They get to my head too much.  I cried so much that on Sunday morning, everything  was blurry because my eyes were so swollen and puffy.

I think what really gets to me about the movie is that it is based on a true story -- and while I know that there are sick, sick people in this world, and I know that things like that happen, it just scares the ever loving you-know-what out of me when I think about it happening to MY baby.

Stephen and I just don't watch scary movies - he doesn't think they're any good, and I am just too vulnerable to scary stuff.  It messes with my head, affects my sleep, and stays with me for too long.  I can watch (most) episodes of CSI-type shows without it really bothering me, but "based-on-true-story" movies like Changeling fall under the "don't watch" category at our house.  And now I need to change the subject because I don't want any more of this creepiness of my blog!

Today I had my Teacher Education Program admission interview at Henderson.  I was a nervous WRECK beforehand.  I was so upset... it actually got to the point where I was having to tell myself -- "GET a GRIP, Stephanie!"  I was super nervous about the interview and my portfolio.  I cried (hard) no less than THREE different times within a 20-minute period before the interview.  I'm not sure what qualifies as a panic attack... but I'm pretty sure that's what I was having.

I know the reasoning behind this one -- I had to do this same interview when I was an Elementary Education major several years ago -- during a semester when I had pretty much lost all interest in college.  Or classes.  Or preparing/studying for classes.  It wasn't a pretty semester, and I've really had to work hard to make up for all the mistakes I made that semester.

That semester, I had to do this same interview -- and I completely bombed it.  I didn't study the sample questions, I didn't have a complete portfolio, I wasn't prepared AT ALL, and I did horrible.  I didn't pass it. 

I was so much more prepared this time around -- but I still let my nerves get the best of me and my poor masacara was basically all gone by the time I walked into the interview room.  I'm sure my face was red and swollen, but (haha) maybe the interviewers felt sorry for me and awarded me more "points" since I was so upset.  Not really. ;)  I think I did okay.  I answered all the questions just like I had studied them and I feel like everything went fine.  I hope so, at least.  I'll find out my results on November 5th.

I'm ready for a few days with no tears and minimal stress.  The worst part of this week is over and I am SO ready for a few days with nothing big on the agenda!  (Or scary creepy movies!)

Just Sayin'

An early, cool, foggy morning drive followed by an extremely boring Management and Organizational Behavior class = a very sleepy, unable-to-concentrate Stephanie. 

While trying to keep myself awake during class (I feel I should point out here that my teacher is from India and is very hard to understand!) I got caught up on all my blog reading, facebook, and twitter updates.  I also updated three apps on my iPhone.  I made myself a to-do list for the next several days.  I made myself a WalMart list for this afternoon.  (I've been out of deoderant for 3 days and I've been wearing Stevo's.  I love the smell on him - but on me?  Notsomuch.)  When I was finished with ALL that... I still had fifteen minutes of class yet.  Hellooooo App Store!

And I found... this.

Cut the Rope.  It's surpassed Angry Birds (which I was shamelessly addicted to for weeks.) in the Games section of the iPhone App Store.  I downloaded the Lite version free and played it the last few minutes of class.  I'll be downloading the $0.99 full version when I get home.  If you have an iPhone or iPod touch, I'd highly recommend it!

I also feel like I should mention that I DO have an A in this class.  I'm not a complete slacker.

14 Months Old

Y’all, Christopher is FOURTEEN months old today.   Fourteen.  Fourteen!!!

I cannot even put into words how much I love this kid.  I treasure every single minute that I spend with him.  Even when he’s making me want to pull my hair out!  I am loving his age right now, but I’m going to be honest – I get a little teary-eyed when I think about my little guy from a year ago.

Here’s his 2 month picture from October 18th of last year…

and here’s a picture of him yesterday before church.

I know I say this all the time – but he is growing up so fast! 

Sweet boy – your Momma loves you more than anything else in this whole world.  You are my sunshine and I thank God for you every single day!

i almost deleted this post because it’s so boring. my apologies.

There’s not really been much going on here recently… well, nothing blog-worthy, at least!  The only exciting thing we did this last week was make a family trip to Hot Springs with my mother-in-law, Deanna.  I needed a few nice outfits to wear to my observations and for the HSU Teacher’s College Admissions interviews.  Ack.

So far this semester has been going really smoothly – I’ve had a decent amount of homework and busy work, but starting this week I’m going to have to kick it into HIGH gear! I have observations, the interview, tests, homework, 2 end-of-semester projects to work on… the list goes on and on.  I’m not looking forward to the rest of this semester… however, I AM glad that the semester is halfway over! 

I’ve been so tired recently, too, it makes it hard for me to focus on doing homework and housework.  Does anybody have any advice on this?  Is there a vitamin I could take that could help boost my energy level?  It seems like all I want to do is lay on the couch and watch TV.  I don’t, of course… but still.  I’m tempted.

This post has turned into sort of a whiney pathetic poor-Stephanie post.  Soooo I’ll do you all a favor and end it now.  I must go, anyway, and study.  And do homework.  Blaaah.

big boy!

This is a picture I’ve been wanting to share.  It’d be better if he weren’t holding a toothbrush in his hand, (except he would have been screaming!) or if there wasn’t a coke bottle in the background… but it’s still cute. 

He’s getting so big!  And more and more adorable every day.  :)

His shirt says “Eating Machine” …and that’s what he is!  He still eats anything and everything!

Quick Sunday Pics

I know I haven’t been a good blogger.  :(  It’s the middle of the semester, and I’m starting to have more stuff due, more tests, etc.  Plus, with Stephen getting off at 4 everyday, I don’t get on the computer as much in the evenings since I have my sweet hubby home with me.  Eventually things will slow down and I’ll be back!

Here are a few pictures I snapped of Christopher before church this morning.  I thought they were too cute not to share. :) He is becoming quite the little ham!  Happy Sunday!

  

Christopher-isms

This is just a post to document a few things that Christopher is doing right now that I don’t want to forget.

Christopher LOVES to be outside.  He would eat, sleep, and play outside 24/7 if he could.

He will take our fingers to lead us around or show us what he wants.  If he wants to go outside, he’ll come grab my finger and PULL it until I move, then he will “walk” me over to the door.  If I don’t open it, he will take my hand and PUT IT ON THE DOORKNOB.  It is hilarious!  If he wants something inside, he will take my finger and point at it.  The other day we were walking around the yard and he was holding a rock. (Something else he loves – rocks.)  He dropped it, then grabbed my hand and tried to get me to pick it up!  Hahaha!  I said, “Boy, you pick that rock up yourself!” and he did.  :)

He has been signing “more” for about a month now.  We are working on “all done” but pretty much he always wants MORE.  More food, more drink, more snack.

He’s had a sip or two of diet pepsi from my Cruizzers (it’s like a Sonic) styrofoam cup, so he KNOWS now what is in there, and anytime he sees a Cruizzers cup – whether it is on the table, in the car, or in the trash, he points at it, says, “UH!” and signs more.  Oh, boy.

I haven’t seen this, but my mom told me that when they go to visit my dad at his office, Christopher knows where dad keeps the peanut butter crackers, and Christopher will go grab Paw-Paw’s finger and lead him to the kitchen so that they can have a snack together.  Spoiled ROTTEN.

He dances.  It is ADORABLE. He likes to put his arms up and wave them and it cracks me up ever single time!

When we go outside, he likes to look for Bella.  He’ll walk to the fence and say, “Bewwa?”  She likes to give him kisses through the fence.

He knows where his belly button is and when you ask him, he’ll lift up his shirt and point at it.  You can also ask him where his nose is but he usually points to his cheek, so we have to work on that.  However, he CAN point to everybody else’s nose!

He loves to ride the 4-wheeler at my parents house.

One of our favorite things to do inside is play “Gonna Getcha.”  Stephen and I crawl around at his level going after him.  He SQUEEEALS and runs and laughs and it’s so much fun.  Plus it wears him out before bedtime. haha!

He’s not a huge fan of his carseat.  I hope that changes soon. :(

And this isn’t really about Christopher… but I just want to document it so that I can remember it.  Since I am in school right now, I am not working.  We are able to budget my student loans so that I can take a little of it out of savings each month as a “paycheck” to help pay for bills.  I know this is not the ideal way of getting a college degree, but it’s the only way.  I am doing what a lot of people don’t do after they get married and have kids – finishing my college education.  And hopefully VERY soon, Stephen will be able to do the same.
We live paycheck to paycheck.  I would never be able to do this long-term the way so many people around here do, and I’m looking forward to the day when we are no longer living this way.  I look forward to having a nicer house in a MUCH nicer neighborhood and getting Stephen and better vehicle and being able to take funn family vacations with Christopher every year.  I can’t wait until money isn’t such an issue. 
BUT, I would not do one thing differently if I had the choice.  Even though we have it rough right now, I wouldn’t trade any of it.  I actually get to spend alot of time with Christopher and I wouldn’t trade that time with him for ANYTHING!  I’m in school all day Monday and most of the day Wednesday, and I have my mom watch him a few hours one or two other days of the week, but I am able to get alot of my homework done after he goes to bed, so I get to spend lots of time with him during the day.  I treasure this time SO much.  I look forward  to easier times and nicer things.  But I do not want to rush through these years and wish them away.  I know that I will just blink my eyes and Christopher will be starting kindergarten, or graduating high school, or getting married and starting a family of his own.  I have to tell myself this every now and then.
It’s tough – financially, mentally, emotionally.  But Stephen and I are learning and growing together and even though it’s so hard, we ARE truly happy.  We know that we have been blessed with amazing families who are standing behind us while we finish our degrees.  We have an adorable child who has brought us closer together, who we couldn’t love more. We are unbelievably blessed.